Back when Keller and I had energy, time and money (i.e…before kids), we used to take each other on mystery dates. One would plan the date and take the other on a mystery. It was my turn to plan. I love to plan a good surprise…that’s half the fun for me! I looked in the paper and local magazines and found the perfect thing for the next Saturday. I was so excited and knew this would be a score. Keller would love it!
I planned the menu, the time we needed to leave our house and all that we wanted to do while out on our little excursion. I used to be Pinteresty before Pinterest was a thing. Again, that was pre-kids. I made a fancy picnic basket full of southern foods and Keller’s favorite desserts. I did the little touches like nice napkins, little notes, flowers, etc… I double checked the weather, the route and had all of the details covered. I was ready. He was as excited as an electrical engineer gets.
I load the car and lock the trunk. He had no idea if we were going somewhere fancy or casual, indoors or out, far or near. We got on 65 south and started our adventure. I was crazy excited! I like to throw as much mystery into the game as possible. I exit the interstate, drive around and then get back on again. I say things like “what’s a belayer?” “about how long is it to Georgia?” or “did you happen to bring your swim trunks?” just to throw him off.
We pass the Goose Creek exit then Spring Hill. We get close to Columbia, TN and see a bunch of traffic ahead. Keller looks at a blinking sign on the side of the interstate and says “Oh gosh, get in the left hand lane as soon as you can and go around this. It’s that mule day thing in Columbia today. We don’t want to get stuck in that crowd.”
Dagger. In. My. Heart. Yes sir re Bob, I planned all week for this. We were going to the Mule Day Parade and I now felt like a jackass. I was devastated. I thought I had nailed it. Nope. Keller now feels like a dog and is trying to back pedal as fast as possible. All of the sudden our exciting date has turned colder than a well diggers fanny.
The long line of traffic now becomes a blessing. During that time my man dug his way out of the deep hole he was in and we were able to laugh and headed on to Mule Day…just in time for the parade. We found a nice spot on the parade route and sat down to picnic and watch.
I am mesmerized by a good beauty pageant so when Miss Mule Day kicked off the parade I was tickled pink. Then came the mules. Hundreds of mules. There were mini’s, prize winning, runts and granddaddy’s. Next up – cloggers, tractors, politicians and folks that would make honey boo boo look like a Dugger. The day was making a turn for the better. Keller loved the picnic and got a kick outta the parade.
On to the festival flea market. Bandana’s, feather clips, lighters, rebel flag anything you wanted (anything), mule belt buckles, flasks, quilts, beef jerky and fried pork skins. It was a people watching jackpot. More mullets and Nascar tees than we could count.
While Keller was in line getting a free case of chewing tobacco, we overheard a little boy trying to get his dad’s attention. While tugging at his dad he kept saying “Diddy, take me to da moo poo. Take me to da moo poo! Diddy! Take me to da MOO POO!” Keller and I are trying to understand what this desperate kid in camo overalls was trying to tell his daddy. His dad stopped and looked at him and said “Ricky! hush up or imma wear you out! we will go to da mule pull in a minute!” Ooooh! MULE PULL! We couldn’t miss that!
The mule pull was a cultural experience that I recommend for everyone. At this point we are totally “when in Rome.” All in. Nonstop laughter and whooping it up. I’m grubbin’ on a deep friend turkey leg while my man is dippin’ Skoal sporting his Vanderbilt shirt, khaki pants and a John Deer flat bill. There are teams of mules pulling heavy weights to see which team can pull the farthest. Folks in the agricultural center hooped and hollered the obstinate beasts to victory while enjoying a few Pabst Blue Ribbons.
Twenty years later this date remains one of our favorites! Another that stands out was pooling our coins together from pants pockets, our cars and the bottom of my purse. We could only spend the total of the coins from those three places. We came up with nearly eight bucks and went to Taco Bell! We had food and change left over. Our stay at home Chinese themed date was hard to beat too…complete with costumes and home made fortune cookies. What could be better than getting to make up your own fortune for your cookie?! Humm, the time we wore our gnarly Bubba teeth while at Dollywood was pretty darn fun too.
Surprise your husband, boyfriend, a girlfriend or your kids (my kids LOVE mystery dates!). Get out there and go on a date!
Have fun!
Until next time,
Amy
