I am in a season in my life where I am especially grateful for friendships. I feel really grateful to have people in my life that have my back and I have theirs. We celebrate each others victories and cry together on those days that life gets overwhelming. We encourage one another and we laugh. A lot.
As I was writing in my journal recently, I was thinking about some specific examples of how I feel blessed to have these deep relationships in my life and my mind wondered to a particular incident years ago.
It was the summer of 1992 and I was engaged to be married to an incredible Louisiana fella – who is now my husband. On a hot July weekend one of Keller’s groomsmen, his dear friend Joe, came to Nashville to visit and have some bachelor time before Keller was “in bondage.” Friday night we all visited with my parents and when Keller and Joe were getting ready to leave, my daddy, who LOVED to cook good southern food, told them “Boys, y’all come back tomorrow morning around 8:00 and I’ll have y’all the best breakfast you ever put in your mouth! Joe, you like country ham?” “Yes sir, I do.” “Alright then… 8:00 sharp it is!”
The next morning my daddy got up around 5:30, sent our dog Jake to get the paper like he did every morning, had a cup of coffee and then started cooking. Wompin’ biscuits, sorghum molasses, bacon, sausage, grits, country ham with red eye gravy, eggs and OJ made from the frozen can. It was a feast. Having people in our home brought much pleasure to my parents. Everybody was welcome in our home – and you always knew you would get some good eats. Guests leaving with the feeling that they needed to put on a robe was what my parents lived for.
Eight o’clock rolled around and it was like Christmas morning to daddy. He couldn’t wait to feed a couple of hungry boys. Ten after eight comes and I’m getting a little antsy as they hadn’t shown up yet. I’m thinking they probably overslept and are on their way. At eight fifteen I’m thinking “if he’s not dead he’s gonna be!” Daddy was trying to keep everything hot – including the grease for the sunny side eggs.
I called Keller’s house and he didn’t answer. My fiancé was a hip before hipster was cool…he had a bag phone. It was one of the first mobile phones and was about the size of a crib mattress. It was housed in a man purse that had a spiral cord attached to the headset. Even though it cost nearly as much as a mortgage payment to make a call, I rang the bag phone. No answer. About every two minutes or so I would try again. No luck. I was worried for their safety, but I was more worried that my daddy wasn’t gonna like my future husband and give him the shotgun speech.
At eight thirty my phone rings. “Keller! Are you and Joe okay? Where are you?” “Yes, we are great! I took Joe to the Shoney’s Big Boy breakfast bar. We got our moneys worth! We can hardly move we’re so full. We’re gonna go to the house and hang out for a while to recover.”
I shake my head wondering if I heard him correctly. I couldn’t believe it. I whisper in the phone “What? My dad asked y’all to breakfast and you said you would be here at 8:00. Y’all please come, he’s been cooking for 2 hours. My Daddy has worked hard and that’s how he shows love.” I look down at my new shinny ring and try to remember how much I love my man. I wondered how he had graduated from Vanderbilt without a woman to keep him in line.
Thank goodness they were only 5 minutes away. They walk in the door and Joe says “Oh my, this smells good Mr. Swanson!” “Come on in and sit down boys!” My daddy says the prayer and momma follows it up with “Amen, brother Ben, shot a rooster and killed a hen.” (No, I’m not lying). Daddy says “dig in” and hands them their plates that are loaded to the max! I’m talkin’ food touching, piled up, hungry man kind of loaded. For already being in deep food coma’s, they did an impressive job keeping a secret and shoveling in the grub. I guess Joe thought Keller’s future depended on this because he dug in and never muttered a word about his first breakfast. “Mr. Swanson, this is the best country ham I’ve ever had.” “I’m so glad you like it. Here’s the best piece right here.” He puts a piece of ham on Joe’s plate that must have come from a prize winning pig. Hog heaven.
Daddy sat and told the boys about his friend in Kentucky that cures hams and how they are the finest anywhere. While he is talking he is dishing out more food on their plates and grinning from the joy he has watching them partake. “Sop that egg up with your biscuit and it’ll make your tongue so happy it won’t know what hit it.”
At this point the boys are belching under their breath and wiping . sweat from their brows. I am dying laughing inside. I can’t even look at them in fear of howling. The worst part for them was having to sit around and visit for a while after breakfast to avoid the ole “eat and run” reputation. Keller and Joe were both as close as two coats of paint from throwing up. I, of course, was still trying to hold back from losing it.
I remember that morning for lots of reasons. I remember the joy my dad had cooking and serving others. I remember the look on Keller and Joe’s faces as they stuffed in more and more food and were about to be sick! I remember being googly eyed in love and forgiving quickly for the mistake of forgetting about breakfast. The thing I remember most is what Joe did for Keller that day. Even though he was nauseous from his first breakfast, he didn’t say a word about it. Instead, he was a good friend and sacrificed his comfort for his friend. They have been friends for over 30 years and they still have each others back.
Do you have friends in your life that you can count on and they can count on you? In his book The Four Loves, C.S. Lewis says
“Friendship is born at that moment when one man says to another: “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .””
Would you please pass the jelly?
Amy
