Stairway to Heaven

I fall a lot. When I say a lot, I don’t mean every week…or even bi-annually…but I’m a 47 year old woman with both legs the same length and have decent eyesight. You’d think I’d catch on by now.

Over the weekend I decided to have some quiet time at the river we live by. I went to a spot where we usually drop in our canoe (that makes me sound so Bass Pro Shop-ish – when truth be known, I drive my husband and kids to the drop-in so they can canoe and I can do the happy dance and have a moment of sanity take some pictures as they float down the river). This weekend the river was high and fast. Thick mud was covering the wooden stairs going down to the water – but there was a handrail and the mud look packed down so I trekked on.

I started walking down the stairs and…lets just say I wasn’t walking for long. I fell on my bootay and started sledding down the mud very quickly (think luge). The water was close. Thankfully I was able to I grab the railing.  I hung onto it like a tick on a dog. I stopped a couple of steps short of the water. I saw my life flash before me and all I could do is wonder if anyone saw me. I looked like an overgrown raisinette. Mud from head to toe. I wondered how I was gonna get my butt back up the slippery mud mountain. After I sat for a moment I decided to call my husband on my iMud5. If I slipped anymore I was going to be in hot cold water rafting down the river without a raft. Keller came and helped me safely get back to solid ground. I am the girl who always smells lunchmeat before I eat it and I always wear my seatbelt. Once my Eagle Scout knew I was safe he gave me the friendly reminder to “NEVER go near water alone!” #dontworry #neveragain. I got a nice goose egg the size of a lemon on my arm and a purple bruise that would have gotten me out of PE…but overall I was okay.

18 months ago I was on a run (13 minute miles count so shut up). I tripped over air. Seriously. Nothing was there. I still look every time I pass that spot just to make sure. This was the granddaddy of all falls. I busted it. Arms, knees, face. Boom. I broke my humorous. Bwaahahaha! I got my first black eye and it was a beauty! To avoid surgery I had to obey docs orders. Falling again would not be good. This time I actually got some great sympathy meals out of it. I’m still waiting on my friend Tracy to bring me the chicken salad she promised (cough, cough). 

My physical therapy friends tell me they teach people the correct way to fall. I just want to know who in the h-e-double toothpicks thinks about the correct way to fall when they are actually going down? That’s like my mom telling me “Now be careful, don’t you fall!”  I just want to say, “Oh darn, I was planning a doozy…I was going to incorporate a back flip karate chop combination mid-air this time!” 

When something appears to be a theme that God keeps allowing to come up in my life, I start digging deep. I have been thinking of this “falling” theme a lot lately (bout time, Ames). “The greatest accomplishment is not in never falling, but in rising again after you fall” (Ralph Waldo Emerson). So far I have always gotten up (except for the time I fell down our deck steps and broke my ankle…then 6 months later did it again. Did I mention I had three kids 4 and under and was non weight-bearing?) #ohyesidid

I fall in other ways too. Sometimes three teen-aged girls all talking at once makes me crazy. And I yell at them. Sometimes I want something that I should wait on…but I buy it anyway. Sometimes I hurt others because of my selfishness. I fall spiritually. I decide my way is better. I slip back into thinking God’s love for me is dependent on my actions and behaviors. I decide that God’s truths are for others but surely couldn’t cover all my crud.

We all stumble. We lose our way. We struggle. Sometimes we trip and fall. No one is exempt. We all fall sooner or later. It’s what happens after we fall that makes all the difference. What does God do when we fall? He upholds us. We will not utterly fall because God will not let go. We stumble and fall a thousand times, God’s love is firm. His purposes are eternal. Our salvation rests not on our performance…but on God’s unchanging character.

One more thing. I have a special Giving Keys bracelet I never take off. When I got home from my mudslide episode I noticed it was missing. I was so bummed. Mr. Wonderful went back to the scene of the spill and he found it. It reminds me of what is takes to get back up after a fall.